Sunday, June 14, 2009
{ 9:18 AM }
Ive never felt this wayy before. But right now im feeling super lonely. It scares me off to be lonely. I dun like feeling this way. It sucks. Well why am i feeling this way?? I feel akward. I feel that i dun have anyone to talk to or understand how i feel. Its hard to bring out everything. Ever since i saw him, He looked at me with no guilty feeling, My heart ached terribly. But i manage to hide my feelings. It painful, very painful. Till today it ached big time. No one knows how i feel. Well my best friend is attached now and im happy for her, But afterall im a gal. She has someone to care and show love. Well i dont have anyone and besides my heart is stoned!! I cant feel what is love anymore. Why is this happening to me?It feels damm terrible. I dun wanna feel this way but it cant be helped. The pain is not leaving me at all. Thou i want someone to show me love, but i dunno why i cnt feel it at all. Im not entertaining much guys. I feel miserable. I want to escape from this horrible feeling. How am i suppose to do it??? Im undergoing times of pain and misery.
Mother wans to marry me off, well i guess im a burden to them. She doesnt want to keep me long here. Im sorry if ive been a big burden to u mom. I nvr meant to be one. Ive always wanted to do ur proud, but im unable to. Its painful mother. Seriously, i nvr knew loneliness will be like this. Im afraid. Thinking abt the past its making me feel worse. I just cant help feeling it ever since i saw him. I wish i din haf to see him.I also feel that everyone doesnt wish to be with me. Almost all my friends are attached and they have someone they love to show them all the love, care and concern. Well i dun have anyone. And no one is willing to take me seriously. Most of them wans to bed me. I nvr ask for such body either. Im just gifted with such. Is it too wrong?? I dunno...Hopefully i feel better soon.